Thursday, October 8, 2009

Scenes from the Dentist's Chair

Wednesday, October 7, 1:40 p.m.

Me: *Trying to not listen to scraping of tools on teeth, but only other option is Lite FM. Hating Lite FM more than ever in this moment.*

Dental Hygenist: *scrape, scrape, scrape, grind; chattering happily about son's rain-sodden flag football games*

Me: *Trying to envision band of crazed eight-year-olds tearing through the mud in quest for football much in the style of Lord of the Flies, smiling despite mouth full of sharp implements* "Unnnng-ghhhhhh, nnnnnnnk-mmmmmmp."

DH: "Yes, they're so cute out there." *pauses from scraping, pulls out object that resembles miniature whetstone*

Me: *stops breathing*

DH: *begins to sharpen tools*

Me: !!!!!!!!

DH: *smells fear, smiles kindly* "I'm just honing these so I can be more efficient."

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lite FM: This is the sound of my soul, this is this sou-oouundd